Wyrd Outlook by Grogh — Ghostwritten by Vikki Vexum
The Golden Shower Ghost: A Misery Cloud Worth Catching
The key snaps in the lock. You stare at the broken brass between your fingers.
Then something warm sprinkles your scalp.
You look up. A yellow puff is already dissolving. Your collar is wet, and the smell could peel paint off a public restroom.
Captain’s suspicion? The Golden Shower Ghost has found another bad situation to make worse.
As above: the weather we carry
We have long described sorrow as weather. In “The Rainy Day,” published in Ballads and Other Poems in 1842, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “Into each life some rain must fall.” His poem moves between an actual dreary day and a life darkened by memories and disappointed hopes. That is a literary ancestor of our familiar misery cloud—not an account of this ghost. [1]
Heavy music understands that inner weather, too. In a 2020 Kerrang! interview, Corey Taylor discussed the darkness expressed through Slipknot’s We Are Not Your Kind and the joy of his solo album CMFT. He described himself as “coming back up to the surface.” [2]
To the Captain, that leaves room for both the storm and the person beyond it. Expressing pain can make art; it needn’t become a permanent identity. And when somebody is struggling, piling on shame only supplies more rain.
Which brings us to an apparition who has made piling on his entire personality.
So below: character becomes cloud
In Ghostship Groggy’s lore, the 400 frequencies teem with lower gods and creation energy. A spirit’s enduring character can become its form.
It is overwhelmingly believed that this ghost was someone who enjoyed kicking people while they were down. Death didn’t cure the habit. In those creation-rich frequencies, what better shape for that spirit than a haunted misery cloud?
He feeds on misery and humiliation. His calling card is exquisite, cruel timing: something unexpectedly goes wrong, and immediately foul pee falls on your head. The yellow cloud disappears almost before you can see it. The stink stays.
His universality is his ultimate camouflage. He belongs wherever bad luck happens, rather than to one haunted building. We have no verified historical haunting to attach him to; this is an original legend growing around an experience people already recognize.
A spreading nuisance—with dangerous timing
It is said he can magically aggravate bladders and IBS, giving witnesses an explanation that humiliates the victim further.
“You just had an accident.”
“A ghost peed on your head? Obviously.”
He vanishes while somebody else takes the blame.
His rumored gestalt nature makes matters worse: many little droplet selves, one spreading entity. He grows as he feeds. In the storm-tossed 400 frequencies, a moment of bodily betrayal during a battle, chase, or desperate climb could cost someone their escape.
He might be the last thing that sharted the whole deal.
Freeze the cloud. Preserve the prisoner.
There is a rumored interruption. With theatrical sarcasm, say:
“Well, I smell a pissy cloud over your head.”
Or call yourself out: “Well, I smell a pissy cloud over my head.”
It is said this briefly freezes him, creating an opportunity to witness, photograph, or attempt capture. Share the joke with a willing friend; the cloud is the target, not someone’s genuine distress.
No confirmed captures exist. We hope catching one manifestation gathers the whole gestalt. That theory remains untested.
The capture reward is the Superb Owl Token: a one-of-a-kind golden prize, special among all Magic Owl Tokens.
Capture intact. Deliver to Captain Loki Groggy. Do not attempt an exorcism or magical destruction that would end his existence.
His faint relation to the Golden Shower of God, and his extraordinary power, have led to the belief that he is a pet of Lord God. Perhaps an amusing companion in small, supervised doses. Running loose and marking the entire neighborhood? Less delightful.
The Captain will handle what follows capture. Hunters need only bring him in intact.
Help build the case
Have a strange encounter, an illustration, or a tale to contribute? Email eldergrogh@gmail.com, identifying whether it is a personal account, interpretation, or invented addition to the legend. Describe the timing, the sprinkle, the smell, and anything you witnessed.
Your contribution may help establish his lore before anyone catches him.
Wanted intact. However badly he has pissed you off.
Captain’s note: This is GROWING supernatural lore. Depression, IBS, and bladder symptoms are not evidence of a haunting, and the freeze phrase is part of the game.
Sources
[1] Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “The Rainy Day”, Ballads and Other Poems (1842).
[2] Kerrang!, Corey Taylor interview, July 29, 2020.
